Parashat HaShavua - Nasso
Some of the most difficult passages in the Torah for me to contemplate are those of Sotah. (Nu. Ch. 5) They focus one-sidedly on the possibility that a wife has been unfaithful to her husband, and then, if her husband is jealous, a ritual is imposed upon her that seems best described as hocus pocus. What can all this mean to us?
In the Sefat Emet, Rabbi Yehudah Aryeh Leib Alter (Poland 1847-1905) finds meaning in the “dust / עָפָר” that is the first ingredient of what a woman suspected of adultery would drink. One of his understandings emphasizes the humility we must all have because of how the Tanach describes our origins and ultimate destination: “All go to one place; all came from the dust, and all return to the dust. / הַכֹּ֥ל הוֹלֵ֖ךְ אֶל־מָק֣וֹם אֶחָ֑ד הַכֹּל֙ הָיָ֣ה מִן־הֶֽעָפָ֔ר וְהַכֹּ֖ל שָׁ֥ב אֶל־הֶֽעָפָֽר.” (Kohelet 3:20) The Sefat Emet also relates that dust to Avraham, who says of himself, “I am dust and ashes / וְאָֽנֹכִ֖י עָפָ֥ר וָאֵֽפֶר.” (Gen. 18:27) Finally, he goes so far as to recognize in dust the potential to subsequently bring life into the world through plant growth, just as humanity can bring tikkun into the world. (Nasso sec. 18)
Of course, all of this might seem small consolation for a woman being subjected to this ritual. At the very least, however, the Sefat Emet makes connections for us, and demonstrates deeper meanings, that can inspire greater respect for such a woman, as well as for the ritual itself.
Rabbi David Stav similarly provides a perspective regarding this ritual that makes it more a reflection of all of us than only about women who are subjected to it. Why, he asks, is judgment here uniquely dependent on a miracle ritual and not a court of law? (Parasha be’Ketana, Naso) “The relationship between spouses (lit. husband and wife),” he writes, “is one of the most unique and complex human relationships; it is also among the most important. Therefore, when a severe breach occurs in a couple, the Torah brings in the 'heavy artillery’ to resolve it.” He continues in dramatic fashion: “‘love is as strong as death, zeal as strong as the grave; its coals are coals of fire of a great flame / כִּֽי־עַזָּ֤ה כַמָּ֨וֶת֙ אַֽהֲבָ֔ה קָשָׁ֥ה כִשְׁא֖וֹל קִנְאָ֑ה רְשָׁפֶ֕יהָ רִשְׁפֵּ֕י אֵ֖שׁ שַׁלְהֶֽבֶתְיָֽה’ (Shir ha’Shirim 8:5); the ways lovers relate can rise to the highest level of caring and concern, reflection and openness, but they can also periodically transform into hostility and envy, suspicion and opacity.”
Rabbi Stav then turns to a lesson for all of us in our relationships: “The root of the breach and its resolution are inherent in one word: trust. Trust is built over time within deeds and words, but it is not only about deeds and words, it is a fundamental feeling that one feels towards their partner: loving trust, trust that my beloved will not harm me, trust that they want what is best for me.” This trust, he says, “is one of the basic building blocks of our existence as a society.”
May we, as the Sefat Emet describes, learn from the Sotah an elevated sense of holiness and also profound humility, a sense of connection with our ancestors and our ability to foster growth in the world around us. And may we, as Rabbi Stave reminds us, answer the call of the Sotah “to return to trust as the basis for our way of life with our partners, our children and all those around us.”
Shabbat Shalom!
Rabbi Jack Nahmod
Middle School Judaic Studies Head
Rabbinic Advisor