Parashat HaShavua - VaYishlach

Confusing Torah for confusing times: God’s messenger engages in physical struggle with Yaakov, blessing him but also causing him a serious and lasting injury. (Gen. 32:26,32) Esav, who had sworn to kill Yaakov (27:41-42), running to hug and kiss him in a tearful reunion. (33:4)

The first encounter, it seems to me, is more relatable at this moment, though an imperfect analogy to say the least. The Jewish people have suffered serious injury, a trauma that will never completely heal, and we cannot help but wonder about God’s intentions with us. We pray that there is yet a beracha to be extracted from God after what we have been through; that not only Yaakov, but we his descendants, can grab hold of and coerce God in this way. (32:27:30) May we, like Yaakov, can “struggle with God and humanity and prevail / כִּֽי־שָׂרִ֧יתָ עִם־אֱלֹהִ֛ים וְעִם־אֲנָשִׁ֖ים וַתּוּכָֽל.” (32:29)

But the notion of reconciliation with a sworn enemy, one so extreme that the conflict originates from the womb? (25:22) Hard to believe. Then, as they grow older, the differences in their temperaments endure: Esav the hunting outdoorsman, Yaakov the cerebral homebody. (25:27) And yet, can their reunion still somehow give hope that opposites can feel kinship, that hate can give way to reconciliation, even if not for us now, even if not with our enemies today, perhaps for another day?

One key to both episodes of encounter and confrontation is the emphasis on them being face to face, which represents openness and vulnerability. Following the first, “Yaakov named the place Peni’el, because ‘I saw an angel face to face, and my soul was saved / וַיִּקְרָ֧א יַֽעֲקֹ֛ב שֵׁ֥ם הַמָּק֖וֹם פְּנִיאֵ֑ל כִּֽי־רָאִ֤יתִי אֱלֹהִים֙ פָּנִ֣ים אֶל־פָּנִ֔ים וַתִּנָּצֵ֖ל נַפְשִֽׁי.” (Gen. 32:31) Yaakov then relates the second, his encounter with Esav, to that first one, when he would like Esav to accept his gifts and Esav says no thank you. Yaakov says: “If indeed I have found favor in your eyes, then take my gift from my hand, because I have seen your face, which is like seeing the face of an angel, and you have accepted me / אִם־נָ֨א מָצָ֤אתִי חֵן֙ בְּעֵינֶ֔יךָ וְלָֽקַחְתָּ֥ מִנְחָתִ֖י מִיָּדִ֑י כִּ֣י עַל־כֵּ֞ן רָאִ֣יתִי פָנֶ֗יךָ כִּרְאֹ֛ת פְּנֵ֥י אֱלֹהִ֖ים וַתִּרְצֵֽנִי.” (Gen. 33:10) 

The interaction between the two brothers also indicates how the two of them had to fundamentally change in order to reunite. Esav, who previously had pledged to kill his brother, now shows only love, as mentioned above. (33:4) On the flipside, the beracha that Yaakov received from his father Yitzchak promised him the land’s bounty and superiority over others, all of whom would bow down to him. (27:28-29) But in his encounter with Esav, Yaakov says “take now my blessing / קַח־נָ֤א אֶת־בִּרְכָתִי֙,” (Gen. 33:11) – a double meaning not lost on Esav to be sure – and it is Yaakov and his entire family who bow down to Esav. (33:3,6-7)

The two brothers still of course have their significant differences. Yaakov is careful to keep his emotional distance from Esav, consistent with his cautious personality; in conversation with Esav he refers to himself as “your servant / עַבְדֶּֽךָ” and to Esav as “my master / אֲדֹנִֽי.” Esav, true to his more impulsive personality, first takes the risk of hugging and kissing his brother, and in conversation refers to Yaakov as “my brother / אָחִ֕י.” Even after hearing Esav refer to him in this way, however, Yaakov still calls Esav “my master / אֲדֹנִ֤י” four more times. (33:8-9,13-15)

And, of course, in the end they go their own separate ways: “Esav returned on that day on his way / וַיָּ֩שָׁב֩ בַּיּ֨וֹם הַה֥וּא עֵשָׂ֛ו לְדַרְכּ֖וֹ שֵׂעִֽירָה,” while “Yaakov traveled to Sukkot / וְיַֽעֲקֹב֙ נָסַ֣ע סֻכֹּ֔תָה.” (Gen. 33:16-17) Seen another way, after their brief time back together, they return to the distance that always existed between them, and will continue to exist between them. They return to their own ways.

In this encounter between Yaakov and Esav, just as in the encounter between Yaakov and God’s messenger, no claim can be made to a perfect analogy to today, to lessons readily learned and applied. Confusing Torah for confusing times. May we yet see peace, when the time is right, with those who are our adversaries and could be our partners.

Shabbat shalom,

Rabbi Jack Nahmod
Middle School Judaic Studies Head
Rabbinic Advisor