Parashat HaShavua - Shemot
“Who am I / מִ֣י אָנֹ֔כִי?” (Ex. 3:11) After all Moshe has been through – born in hiding as an Israelite, shielded from Pharaoh, saved by Pharaoh’s daughter and raised in his home, defender of an Israelite, accused by an Israelite, fugitive from Pharaoh, member of Yitro’s family – it is no wonder that he is asking this of God, and likely himself. How could he not?
As Moshe adds to this question, one has a better sense of why this identity crisis matters, of how it might play out. First, he asks, who am I “that I should go to Pharaoh / כִּ֥י אֵלֵ֖ךְ אֶל־פַּרְעֹ֑ה?” But hadn’t he been raised by Pharaoh’s daughter, in the presence of Pharaoh? Since then, though, he had effectively denounced his Egyptian identity by coming to the rescue of an Israelite. Thus it would seem that, despite his prior experience, he is now perhaps too much an Israelite to go before Pharaoh, Egyptian royalty no more.
God’s response?“I will be with you, and this is your sign that I sent you / כִּי־אֶֽהְיֶ֣ה עִמָּ֔ךְ וְזֶה־לְּךָ֣ הָא֔וֹת כִּ֥י אָֽנֹכִ֖י שְׁלַחְתִּ֑יךָ.” (Ex. 3:12) Based on this, it would seem, Moshe need not worry whether he has too much Israelite and not enough Egyptian royalty left in him to approach Pharoah, because God is with him. At the same time, however, “the sign / הָא֔וֹת” that God refers to as reassurance indicates Moshe’s experience will be anything but easy. Explains Rashi:
״וְזֶה״ – הַמַּרְאֶה אֲשֶׁר רָאִיתָ בַּסְּנֶה – ״לְּךָ֣ הָא֔וֹת כִּ֥י אָֽנֹכִ֖י שְׁלַחְתִּ֑יךָ,״ וּכְדַאי אֲנִי לְהַצִּיל; כַּאֲשֶׁר רָאִיתָ הַסְּנֶה עוֹשֶׁה שְׁלִיחוּתִי וְאֵינֶנּוּ אֻכָּל, כָּךְ תֵּלֵךְ בִּשְׁלִיחוּתִי וְאֵינְךָ נִזּוֹק.
“This” – the sight that you have seen in the bush – “is your sign that I sent you” and that I will save you; just as you saw the thorn bush performing My mission and not being harmed, so too will you go on My mission and not be harmed.”
One has to wonder, how reassuring would it be to Moshe to be compared with a burning bush? The “God’s honest truth” being spoken here is that Moshe will endure and persist through great difficulties when he reenters a formerly familiar space with a new purpose and evolving identity.
Also evident in God’s response is that the process of Moshe achieving his purpose and being comfortable in his new identity will take time. As already discussed, the word “ehyeh / אֶֽהְיֶ֣ה” in verse 12 is easily translated as “I will be” because the sentence continues “with you / עִמָּ֔ךְ.” Just two verses later, however, God instructs Moshe to introduce God to Bnei Yisrael as “ehyeh asher ehyeh / אֶֽהְיֶ֖ה אֲשֶׁ֣ר אֶֽהְיֶ֑ה,” and then to add “ehyeh sent me to you / אֶֽהְיֶ֖ה שְׁלָחַ֥נִי אֲלֵיכֶֽם.” (Ex. 3:14) Thus what seemed a verb becomes a name. How can that be? Because this is not just a name – it might not even be a name at all – but rather a message that the future belongs to God. God will be, and all else will recede into the background.
Finally, there is a second part to Moshe’s questioning of who he is: who am I, he adds, “that I should take Bnei Yisrael out of Egypt / וְכִ֥י אוֹצִ֛יא אֶת־בְּנֵ֥י יִשְׂרָאֵ֖ל מִמִּצְרָֽיִם?” But hadn’t he himself just been forced to flee Egypt, chased away by Pharoah? Perhaps, when a fellow Israelite expressed resentment toward him for breaking up a fight, which then led to Pharoah pursuing him, he realized he is still too much Egyptian and not enough Israelite to save them.
God’s response to this second question is: “When you take the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain / בְּהוֹצִֽיאֲךָ֤ אֶת־הָעָם֙ מִמִּצְרַ֔יִם תַּֽעַבְדוּן֙ אֶת־הָ֣אֱלֹהִ֔ים עַ֖ל הָהָ֥ר הַזֶּֽה.” (Ex. 3:12) In other words, you might not feel Israelite enough now, but you will be back here “to receive the Torah / שֶׁתְּקַבְּלוּ הַתּוֹרָה,” according to Rashi and others, and your Israelite identity then will obviously be beyond question.
In closing, it is worth noting that this response is also reassuring…and not. On the one hand, Moshe knows the route from Egypt to where he is now, so he might feel better about knowing exactly where God intends him to take Bnei Yisrael. But that was not actually Moshe’s question! He asked about leaving Egypt, not about where he would go with Bnei Yisrael once they left. And so, here too, we find ourselves returning to God’s response to Moshe’s first question, and to how God wants to be known. Moshe will be tested throughout the process of leaving Egypt, just as Bnei Yisrael has been tested, and they will endure; the fire will not consume them. And even though in their past experience God seemed to be missing, their future will belong to God.
Shabbat shalom
Rabbi Jack Nahmod
Middle School Judaic Studies Director
Rabbinic Advisor
