Parashat Hashavua: Shemot
While it is pretty well accepted that we cannot understand God, could it be that God does not understand us? To the first point, Isaiah the prophet conveys for God that “My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways… Just as the heavens are higher than the earth, higher are My ways higher than your ways, My thoughts than your thoughts / כִּ֣י לֹ֤א מַחְשְׁבוֹתַי֙ מַחְשְׁב֣וֹתֵיכֶ֔ם וְלֹ֥א דַרְכֵיכֶ֖ם דְּרָכָ֑י נְאֻ֖ם יְהֹוָֽה. כִּֽי־גָבְה֥וּ שָׁמַ֖יִם מֵאָ֑רֶץ כֵּ֣ן גָּבְה֤וּ דְרָכַי֙ מִדַּרְכֵיכֶ֔ם וּמַחְשְׁבֹתַ֖י מִמַּחְשְׁבֹֽתֵיכֶֽם.” (Is. 55:8-9). And we are frequently reminded in various ways to “trust in the Lord with all your heart; and do not rely upon your own understanding / בְּטַ֣ח אֶל־יְ֭הֹוָה בְּכׇל־לִבֶּ֑ךָ וְאֶל־בִּ֥֝ינָתְךָ֗ אַל־תִּשָּׁעֵֽן׃. (Prov. 3:5)
But God not understanding us? To the contrary, it would seem, as we are told in Devarim that “the secret things belong to the Lord our God / הַנִּ֨סְתָּרֹ֔ת לַיהֹוָ֖ה אֱלֹהֵ֑ינוּ.” (Deut. 29:28) (This passage, it is worth noting, can also be teaching to the first point, that we can’t understand God.) And in Tehillim we say to God that “You understand my thought from afar; You observe my going and reclining, and are familiar with all my ways. Even when no word is on my tongue yet, Lord, You know it all / בַּ֥נְתָּה לְ֝רֵעִ֗י מֵרָחֽוֹק׃ אׇרְחִ֣י וְרִבְעִ֣י זֵרִ֑יתָ וְֽכׇל־דְּרָכַ֥י הִסְכַּֽנְתָּה׃ כִּ֤י אֵ֣ין מִ֭לָּה בִּלְשׁוֹנִ֑י הֵ֥ן יְ֝הֹוָ֗ה יָדַ֥עְתָּ כֻלָּֽהּ.” (Ps. 139:2-4)
Just don’t try to tell that to Moshe! His disconnect from God during their dialogue this week in Shemot is profound. At first the conversation seems to go well. Moshe says, “Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh, and that I should bring Bnei Yisrael out of Egypt / מִ֣י אָנֹ֔כִי כִּ֥י אֵלֵ֖ךְ אֶל־פַּרְעֹ֑ה וְכִ֥י אוֹצִ֛יא אֶת־בְּנֵ֥י יִשְׂרָאֵ֖ל מִמִּצְרָֽיִם?” (Ex. 3:11) Fair enough, God responds, “so I will be with you / כִּי־אֶֽהְיֶ֣ה עִמָּ֔ךְ.” (Ex. 3:12) Thanks, Moshe says, but what about Bnei Yisrael; how will they believe that I am their savior? No problem, God reassures him, you will tell them my name – “Ehyeh asher Ehyeh / אֶֽהְיֶ֖ה אֲשֶׁ֣ר אֶֽהְיֶ֑ה” (Ex. 3:14) – and that I am their ancestors’ God who will now bring them from Egypt to the Promised Land. As a result, “they will listen to you / וְשָׁמְע֖וּ לְקֹלֶ֑ךָ.” (Ex. 3:18)
It is at that point, however, that the conversation goes awry. Moshe directly contradicts what God just said, asserting that Bnei Yisrael “will not believe me or listen to my voice / וְהֵן֙ לֹֽא־יַאֲמִ֣ינוּ לִ֔י וְלֹ֥א יִשְׁמְע֖וּ בְּקֹלִ֑י כִּ֣י יֹֽאמְר֔וּ לֹֽא־נִרְאָ֥ה אֵלֶ֖יךָ יְהֹוָֽה.” (Ex. 4:1) So God pivots, and offers Moshe three signs with which to convince Bnei Yisrael, even echoing Moshe’s words back to him: “ if they do not believe you, or listen to the voice of the first sign, that they will believe the voice of the latter sign / אִם־לֹ֣א יַאֲמִ֣ינוּ לָ֔ךְ וְלֹ֣א יִשְׁמְע֔וּ לְקֹ֖ל הָאֹ֣ת הָרִאשׁ֑וֹן וְהֶֽאֱמִ֔ינוּ לְקֹ֖ל הָאֹ֥ת הָאַחֲרֽוֹן,” or then the third sign “if they will not believe even these two signs, or listen to your voice / וְהָיָ֡ה אִם־לֹ֣א יַאֲמִ֡ינוּ גַּם֩ לִשְׁנֵ֨י הָאֹת֜וֹת הָאֵ֗לֶּה וְלֹ֤א יִשְׁמְעוּן֙ לְקֹלֶ֔ךָ.” (Ex. 4:8-9) While it is odd to refer to “the voice” of a sign, God seems to do so in an attempt to assuage Moshe’s concerns about his.
And yet the disconnect persists. Though God has offered a workaround, Moshe remains unmoved: “Lord, I am not a man of words, from yesterday or the day before, up to this moment when you are speaking with your servant; I am of heavy tongue and speech / בִּ֣י אֲדֹנָי֒ לֹא֩ אִ֨ישׁ דְּבָרִ֜ים אָנֹ֗כִי גַּ֤ם מִתְּמוֹל֙ גַּ֣ם מִשִּׁלְשֹׁ֔ם גַּ֛ם מֵאָ֥ז דַּבֶּרְךָ֖ אֶל־עַבְדֶּ֑ךָ כִּ֧י כְבַד־פֶּ֛ה וּכְבַ֥ד לָשׁ֖וֹן אָנֹֽכִי.” (Ex. 4:10) God loses patience and offers direct support to Moshe, to “be with your mouth and teach you what to say / וְאָנֹכִי֙ אֶֽהְיֶ֣ה עִם־פִּ֔יךָ וְהוֹרֵיתִ֖יךָ אֲשֶׁ֥ר תְּדַבֵּֽר.” (Ex. 4:12) Still unconvinced, Moshe protests one last time: “Lord, please send by the hand of who you will send / בִּ֣י אֲדֹנָ֑י שְֽׁלַֽח־נָ֖א בְּיַד־תִּשְׁלָֽח.” (Ex. 4:13) God now becomes angry, and as a last resort volunteers Moshe’s brother Aharon as well as God’s self again: “I will be with your mouth, and with his mouth, and will teach you what you shall do / וְאָנֹכִ֗י אֶֽהְיֶ֤ה עִם־פִּ֙יךָ֙ וְעִם־פִּ֔יהוּ וְהוֹרֵיתִ֣י אֶתְכֶ֔ם אֵ֖ת אֲשֶׁ֥ר תַּעֲשֽׂוּן.” (Ex. 4:15)
What lesson is to be learned from all of this? Just as God chose a progenitor in Avraham who at times challenged God, God also chose in Moshe a prototypical national leader who would do the same. And while in the future Moshe will advocate for the lives of Bnei Yisrael much like Avraham advocated for the lives of Sdom’s righteous (if they existed), Moshe’s dialogue with God now is of a completely different nature: his struggle here is to be heard and understood by God on a personal level. Ironically, the more Moshe expresses concern about his voice being heard, the more we hear that voice. And through Moshe’s persistence, he elicits a pledge of continuing engagement from God as well as his brother Aharon, foreshadowing the work they will continue to do together with Bnei Yisrael.
In his commentary on the conclusion of Moshe’s life, Rabbi Sacks hearkens back to this moment and observes that Moshe “never lost the vision that had driven him since his encounter with God at the burning bush. He was a burning bush himself, aflame with a passion for justice…” (VeZot HaBeracha, 5763) May we learn from that passion, from Moshe’s questioning of and vulnerability to God, to not give up in our own quest to be heard and understood by God and others.
Shabbat shalom
Rabbi Jack Nahmod
Middle School Judaic Studies Head (Ivrit/Limudei Kodesh/Toshba)
