Parashat HaShavua - Vayera

What kind of father was Avraham Avinu? In this week’s parasha VaYera, we read that first he evicts his eldest son Yishmael with Hagar, and then readily offers his son Yitzchak as a sacrifice to God.

Of course, if we take a step back to think about Avraham as a whole person, we can feel better about him. In the story of him evicting Hagar and Yishmael, we are told that he listens to his wife. He shows his devotion as a husband, first taking one for the team by having a child with Hagar despite his hesitation, and now by kicking them out at her request.

He is also devoted to God. Last week in Lech Lecha we read how he gave up his past by leaving his family to go to Israel, and now he is ready to give up his future at God’s request by sacrificing Yitzchak.

Okay, but as a father? What are we meant to learn from the example seemingly set by Abraham? 

Regarding Avraham’s treatment of Hagar and Yishmael, most do not question his behavior; the Torah reports that God told Avraham to listen to Sarah and evict them, and he did. Pirkei Avot refers to ten tests that Avraham experienced without specifying them, and Maimonides includes this as one he passed because Avraham did what Sarah said even though he felt very bad. 

While these explanations spare Avraham at Sarah’s expense, Ramban, Nachmanides, does not. He observes that what Avraham and Sarah did here was a grave sin. From the perspective of Ramban, they set in motion how the descendants of Yishmael would interact with Jews in unfavorable ways. While we would not agree that Yishmael was actually the progenitor of Islam, we still can appreciate that Ramban suggests finding a better balance than Avraham between parental responsibility and the voice of one’s spouse, and even God.

With regard to the Akeidah, we might be able to find comfort in midrashim teaching that God wouldn’t ever want parents to sacrifice their children. In one explanation, it was always just a test, and God never intended to let Avraham go through with it. In another, Avraham misunderstood what God wanted, which was to show off Yitzchak to God but not sacrifice him.

Both of these might make God look a little better, but they still hang Avraham out to dry. There is, however, a particular context within which the actions of Avraham were a source of comfort: the Crusades. During that time, when Jews faced the tragedy of Crusaders kidnapping their children, some chose instead to end their children's lives. And interpretations of the Akeidah even went beyond the peshat of the story that God stopped Avraham to actually infer that Avraham went through with it and killed Yitzchak, based on the fact the Torah doesn’t explicitly say that Yitzchak walked back with Avraham.

All of which is to say, while some double down on a criticism of Avraham’s parenting by even saying he misunderstood God, which also requires looking another way at God’s approval of Avraham in the text, others have relied on this story for the most tragic sort of validation, which also requires a very non-literal textual interpretation.

So then what are we to make of Avraham Avinu, Avraham our father? He is flawed. He made mistakes with the best of intentions, out of a sense of devotion to Sarah and to God. And while the actions of Avraham that seem wise to us can more obviously guide us in our lives, so too can those actions that seem unwise, whether as counter-examples for our lives or - in our more difficult moments - as a way to feel that even our mistakes can be valid.

Shabbat shalom

Rabbi Jack Nahmod
Middle School Judaic Studies Head
Rabbinic Advisor